One of the main struggles throughout my life has been my inability to acquire and hold on to money.
Seen through the eyes of the old-world view, this indicates utter failure on my part to function properly in the world.
But lately, by looking at the energetic aspect of money on this planet, I have come to realize that perhaps is actually the failure for money to function properly as a luscious, life supporting system on this plant, that has made me subconsciously repel it.
I am just beginning to learn to grow vegetables, and this year I only planted green beans because I don’t have a lot of space to grow and they were the only crops that were successful last year.
Within one week of planting, 50% of the plants had come up through the soil. Within two weeks, 80% had come up through the soil.
I did this with Grow Boxes, but without any sort of fertilizer or effort except for having the foresight last year to pile some weeds on top of the soil before the first snowstorm.
I am astounded at the success, actually.
For someone who has had to work so hard to get any type of paltry success in my life, it made me ecstatic for these little plants to grow so naturally and easily… It seems like they perhaps mistook their planter for someone else. Someone successful. Not little old me.
And then I realized that THIS IS ABUNDANCE.
And that I am actually (and surprisingly) abundant and it comes easily to me when it is in alignment with myself, my health and wellness, the health and wellness of the planet, the health and wellbeing of beings and communities everywhere of which I have no conscious awareness.
This is not a post to demonize money or even to undermine its usefulness in the current society.
It is a post to acknowledge a vivid awareness I had recently regarding my own personal perspective on money vs. abundance.
Despite my past misguided efforts to have great monetary success, I am understanding that, at least for right now, I am to seek abundance in ways that cannot be quantified by the number value of my bank account.
And really, in a world where much of the main stream economy seems shaky…
Where everything is digitized and therefore accessible to hackers…
Where a dollar bill passes hands from people who feel sad and worried that it is leaving their hands or angry about costs (which can be a rough one to receive for empaths)…
Where much of the worlds fights are about wealth and resources….
… Is it any wonder that it takes great focus and energy-clearing on the money I receive in order to feel good about having it in my life.
And to go further with that notion, perhaps my intuition is guiding me toward an abundance that has yet to be acknowledged by a majority of the people on the planet.
Perhaps I am already feeling the future reality where people lament that they cannot eat their gold coins for breakfast. Or their stock account. Or their Maserati.
Not that I’m making those things wrong. A Maserati actually looks like a great car to drive, I just think that when people mistake those things for abundance, they are less likely to connect with the joy of finding abundance in simpler ways.
I’m also sensing a shift here, globally, as people realize what they gave up to have those things that are recognized as abundance but are really just old-world-monetary representations of abundance.
I can tell you what I have given up.
I have given up time with friends and family and the joys of reading books for pleasure and playing with my guitar and playing with my dog.
I have spent time in chairs with a computer in front of me instead of on a tennis court with a net in front of me. Or on a bike. Or at the beach. Or traveling.
These are the joys in life that make up my abundance and I want more of them in my life now because I have put them aside for most of my adult life and really I am doing much worse financially than when I didn’t worry about the “what ifs” of the future and didn’t put my joys aside until I had the pocketbook to justify spending time with them.
And it has become vividly clear to me that the promise of a traditional retirement sometimes feels like false security when one looks at all the shifts that are occurring in the world, or the possibility that I could die tomorrow. It seems like I am holding my breath until old-age to actually live the way I desire but there is a great possibility that I will never cross the finish line to really enjoy that vision of the future.
This is not good for me or for my contribution on the planet.
Instead, I have come to realize that I must make the next part of my life in line with the abundance that these wise little green bean plants have taught me.
And I have to do it right now.
~ Peace ~