Indigo Adults Book Review: Slow Sex

“It’s not a release, not a reward, it’s the blessings, Its the gift of what you notice more.” – Dar Williams

When I discovered the book Slow Sex a few months ago, it was right after after a pretty horrendous sexual experience with a man I had just started to date.

I won’t get into the details, but I will say that he was so completely unaware of where I was sexually, that when he made a sudden choice to advance things without checking to see if I was ok with this. I was not. It felt like an assault.

If he had connected to me energetically, his choices would have been different.

The beautiful thing about Nicole Daedone’s book, is it takes people that are not aware of energy, and especially the energy connection and exchange between lovers, and shows them how to experience that connection and awareness through a very simple exercise.

There are many additional benefits to the Orgasmic Meditation (OM) practice that she presents in her book, including greater sense of safety, better communication and more responsive sexual reactions in the woman, but even if there weren’t additional benefits, I feel like sex is an excellent way for those that are uninitiated in energy, energetic vibration (haha… not the kind that use batteries) and empathy to gain great knowledge in this area.

I also mentioned last month that the first chapter pulled me into the book because of how Daedone described her orgasmic experience of eating a tomato.

I explored this chapter just after finishing Being You, Changing the World which described a chapter about orgasmic living, which is really about taking the time to notice the details of life and savor them.

Being You made the distinction that orgasmic living has nothing to do with physical copulation. Slow Sex makes that same distinction by asserting that orgasm can be the way one experiences the pleasures of the world, while climax is a sexual experience within copulation.

This full time orgasmic state is reached by noticing the moments that make up our lives. Even in times when we feel we are at our lowest, there is a pleasure of acknowledging the awareness and the sensation of that moment.

This is a Dar Williams song called “The Blessing” that makes this distinction quite well. Check out the words on the YouTube page.

OM is not all sunshine, roses and puppy-dog tails. There are lows and discomforts and bumping up against judgements and resistances.

In modern society (especially in the United States), there are so many distortions and projections about sex that it has made people very uncomfortable with the topic and the experience.

Even with myself, there are many resources in New York to get involved with Daedone’s organization One Taste, but every time I prepare to go to an event, “OOPS!” something comes up that makes me have to miss it.

The first few times, I really had a scheduling conflict, but after a while I have realized that there is a resistance to delve into a world that is both scary and exciting. Scary because of my conservative American upbringing that still occasionally holds me in knee-jerk reactions no matter how much I work on awareness, but also exciting because of the intuitive awareness that this practice could potentially have for me. Daedone makes the connection between practicing OM as not just a sexual practice, but a practice of important life skills.

In body energetics, it would imply a healthy 2nd chakra.

Positive and powerful life transformations seem to be a nice side effect.

Another cool think about practicing OM is that if one is willing to become a practitioner, it seems the meditation takes care of itself in bringing about the desired shifts in consciousness.

A lot of people have a lot of “stuff” in the area of sex, and it seems that practicing Om can dissolve those places where we have been taught to be frozen or have been frozen from trauma.

Additionally, to me it seems that indigo adults and individuals who are naturally sensitive to energy can use the book Slow Sex as a tool to help non-indigos/Muggles to become aware of energy and connect on that level. That is what I think is the greatest benefit of all, at least in my world.

Because when I meet someone now, the questions used to be, “Is he right for me? Does he have enough awareness to be a good lover and romantic partner for me?”

The questions are now, “Does he have energetic awareness? Is he open minded? Is he willing and capable to become energetically aware? Is he willing to explore sex in a completely new and wonderful (and sometimes confronting) way with me that will make all of his future sexual experiences and his life in general more fulfilling? Is he willing to go deeper into this energetic world than the physical realm?”

This is important because in the past I made a deliberate effort to date individuals that had energetic awareness. If they didn’t, I might date them for a while but I never felt it would last because they didn’t get this huge indigo adult side of me that perceives the world in terms of energy.

The tools that Nicole Daedone provides in Slow Sex opens the dating pool wide open for me. I merely have to discover whether my potential partner is open to exploring tools to energetic awareness, not necessarily already having that awareness when I meet him.

~ Peace ~

Indigo Leslie

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