I sat outside my house, hugging the giant oak on the front yard after my second Saturday of working at the mall and I wondered if all of the abuse to my energetic body was worth it.
In a way, I am truly coming face-to-face with the limitations of being an energetically sensitive indigo adult and empath. Electrical gadgets and anything with an electrical charge (including people) clearly sway how I feel, no matter how many protective items I hang around my neck or how often I clear and ground my energy.
I agreed to the job because the effect wasn’t that strong when others inhabit the mall. But once the doors close and I am one of very few around all of that that energetic debris, I feel awful.
This past weekend I nearly passed out from pounding headaches and dizziness (all while attempting to sell portrait packages to my last customer of the night.)
I am in a quandary though, because, once again, I am learning so much about my energetic self that I feel by removing myself from the mall, I am removing myself from an opportunity to learn.
I am also starting to realize that it IS time for me to come out of the “indigo closet”. Clearly, I cannot function in certain areas of this world that are out of whack energetically and this visceral reaction is clearly not going away any time soon.
The upside is that I know when i am in an unhealthy environment from the physical and psychic reactions I immediately receive, which allows me to keep my exposure to a minimum.
Compare that to those that are not as sensitive, and it is easy to see why people develop weird chronic ailments that seem to come from nowhere, but most likely manifested from a cause that the individual was not sensitive enough to detect before becoming ill.
By the time I got home from my last Saturday shift, I felt like my energetic body was on fire, I had a pounding headache and I wanted to puke. Despite my attempt to connect to nature and ground my vibration through my faithful tree in the front yard, I was unable to come down and I remained in an ill state for over 5 hours.
I even felt unwell the next day until I went out to the woods for a while with my dog and drank an awesome veggie juice drink from the local farmer’s market.
So, indigo adults… I pose this question to you… Would you stay at this job? Would you leave, even though you can’t really explain the weird physical reaction to people who don’t understand energy and energetic sensitivity? Or would you try to explain? Have you ever selected or turned down a job because you know you are sensitive in the way I have described?
~ Peace ~
Indigo Leslie
PS: All this tree hugging reminded me of a video I used to watch that had the Schumann resonances (earth vibration). More info on the Schumann resonances is HERE. And here is the video I like to watch:
Leslie:
I’m sorry to hear you are having troubles managing the energy of others. I work in a place with people who are bitter and negative and its impact accumulates over time. I find myself looking for strategies to discharge it and the lethargy that comes with it. One thing I’ve found and used for several years is grounding technology products. I sleep on the sheets, wear the band at work at my desk and plant my bare feet on the ground whenever I can.
See here http://www.earthing.com/Whatisearthing_s/1820.htm if you are interested in learning more about the concept.
Love and blessings
Leslie.. I wouldn’t stay.. you feel that working there may teach you something, yes it does, it is telling you to get out of there ๐
I worked for 4 years + in bad environemnt..I was sick out of the blue..the stress and so on..at that time, I didn’t know I was indigo so I battled all that unknowned stuff..and it wasn’t easy.!
This is a job out there for you.. just put it out to the universe..it is listening..it will help you when you ready..:)
Leslie:
Isn’t that what we are here for…to spread our light?? I know it can be VERY demanding, I usually deal with negativity like this, I bless those that I feel illness and sickness emanating from. Yes, it is EXTREMELY hard to be able to clear out the negative energies (I sleep by an energy sucker!) I find that lifting my hands open wide and letting the sun shine through my heart chakra, and collecting the energy from the sun REALLY helps me! I just step outside a few minutes a few times a day, and let it fill me up. I cleanse the air around me in the process! Maybe I’m not doing something correct myself, but I sure do feel a lot better! Remember the negativity can loom over you, and you can bring it home with you as well! So, I go out, recharge my “batteries”, go inside my house and spread the light, and will go outside and draw in some more. Now, I am new to this “enlightenment thing” myself, but this seems to be truly working for me so far! Give it a try, it cant hurt. It is hard to find a new job, and as I said before, spreading the light, no matter how hard is what we are here to do! ๐ You do not have to be obvious about sending your light where you work, and it honestly make me feel happy that even if I spread a little bit o’ light, it is just another candle that will be even a smidgen brighter! Good luck, let me know if you have any luck with it!
Gwenn <3
You’re absolutely right. We ARE here to spread our light.
Sometimes it feels like something I should do and have greater positive effect through prayer, with my knowledge of energy and by keeping myself centered, but there are other times when my light is best expressed/shared by getting waist deep in the muck and mire of life.
Just recently, I started listening to a gentleman named Alan Watts. He was a philosopher who had a weekly show many decades ago.
He has one show where he discusses Buddha. This audio show was highly influential on my recent thoughts and actions in the world.
I have come to flow with the ups and downs of feeling 100% connected to everything and God, and then feeling completely disconnected. I always feel best and move through the disconnected part faster when I don’t judge the disconnected part. It’s just part of the change.
ALAN WATTS:
“Nirvana is not different from ordinary life, so that when you have reached Nirvana, if you think ‘Now I have attained it. Now I have succeeded. Now I have caught the secret of the universe and I am at peace.’ You have only a false peace. You have become a stone Buddha. You have a new illusion of the changes. So, it is said that such a person is a Pratyekabuddha. That means a Private Buddha. I’ve got it all for myself.”
“And in contrast with this kind of Pratyekabuddha who gains Nirvana and stays there, the Mahฤyฤnists use the word bodhisattva. ‘Satva’ means essential principle, ‘Bodhi’ awakening. A person whose essential being is awakened. The word used to mean Junior Buddha. Someone on the way to becoming a Buddha. But on the course time it came to mean someone who had attained Buddha-hood, who had reached Nirvana, but who returns into everyday life to deliver all other beings.”
“…Nirvana is where you are, provided you don’t object to it…”
Here is the whole audio: http://youtu.be/Tn9-Ygto9yw
Thank you for your comment! ๐
~ Peace ~
Indigo Leslie
Well, I thougt on this for a while and think You must see what benefits you if you stay there. Are the benefits obvious? Does your instinct says you don’t belong there? I already understood with myself that are certain people that have a bad chemistry and really I don’t get allong. Usually I start to confront them and then see that energy is not mine. It happens at a point of almost no return. When that usually happens, I start looking for new jobs without leaving the one I’m in, once I have to deal with all acounts at the end of the month and that is hard to find jobs in my country. I think that the 2 answers above are really usefull and the link that Evergreen gives is 5 stars!
I decided to stick with the job and told my boss that I really do best when I don’t close the shop on weekends.
The next week I opened the shop and left early and it felt a lot better. I was still a bit wired when I left, but it wasn’t too bad.
Ironically, I have started to notice that I like the mall in the early morning, before it opens. I actually find it rather soothing, and have tried to arrive early to read and sip tea before starting my work day.
Strange, huh?
But overall, the job just reminded me that on the fork in the road between finding a job where I am working for others and finding a job where I am my own boss, running my own business feels a lot better because it not only matches with my value system better, but it also allows me to operate in a way that is healthy for me as an empath that is sensitive to electro-magnetic transmissions and basic chemicals (like Windex, which I used for the first time in 10 years at the mall a few weeks a go and received a whopping headache within 2 minutes).
I have no doubt that I will be successful as my own boss… I’ve done it before as a massage therapist, but the question now is, “Which of my gazillion interests shall I pursue more deeply and build a business/life around?
~ Peace ~
Indigo Leslie
And of course, loved the Schumann Resonance. When I heard it, I felt right away that I knew that. Seemed like someone was talking to me, and I was understanding that, but couldn’t translate it to explain to someone. Anyone felt the same?
I alway feel very grounded after I listen to it.
This audio was very important to me when I was living in Chicago and came home every day feeling like I came home covered in energetic gook. The Schumann Resonance cleared everything off, like a nice hot shower for my energy field. ๐
Thank you for reading and commenting.
~ Peace ~
Indigo Leslie