I’m going to visit my parents friends in the next week and there is a possibility I may see their kids. I haven’t seen my parents’ friends’ kids in over 15 years, and the last time I saw them, they were both physically and psychologically abusive to me.
To say that I have a little consternation about the possible confrontation is an understatement.
But what often happens with me is as an energy approaches, I start to feel the implications of that energy early, before it is physically in my realm.
It is time to destroy this Horcrux.
(spoiler alert for the last book of the Harry Potter series)
In the final chapters of the last book of Harry Potter, Harry confronts Voldemort, unarmed and willing to “let go” in the final and most complete way – by dying. He does this because part of Voldemort is in him from the events of his childhood, and he and Voldemort will always be intertwined as long as the other one lives.
When we go through a phase in our lives that is high emotion and/or high trauma, a piece of that time and the people and places that are connected with it can get stuck in our field.
Notice that as long as Harry went to battle with Voldemort, he was not able to conquer him and defeat him, and vice versa.
Often the last thing we want to do is to approach our personal Voldemorts with an open heart and allow ourselves to forgive and be vulnerable to another potential attack.
But it is in that vulnerability that we allow ourselves (and the other person) to clear that horcrux and heal.
I’m not saying to allow the abuse again. Not at all. The healing takes place on an emotional and energetic level. You don’t have to be in the physical presence of the energy.
However, often revisiting places and people from our past will bring up “stuff” that is in our cellular memory from long ago that connects you to that time/place/person.
Being in the physical presence of the person/place gets you more connected with the energy, but it’s not necessary. And sometimes, it’s too overwhelming to be in the physical presence of the person/place to accomplish the healing work that needs to get done.
As many of you indigo adults and empaths well know, you can connect with any energy anytime and from any place.
Back to me… I didn’t know that I was carrying such heavy energy, my own personal horcrux, around the people I may be seeing next week.
Sure, I might have thought to myself “those ass holes” when they came up in conversation, but nothing hit me deeply or in a way that I noticed until I was told I might be seeing these people again.
I felt myself stressing last night but it didn’t feel like me. It felt like a very young and scared part of me. I was getting visions of things that happened when I was five years old, in the same way that Harry would get these horrible images in his mind when Voldemort got inside to control his thoughts.
And then, this morning, I took a shower, still thinking about the potential events and these things that happened as a child, and I started to cry. Again, this felt like very old emotional pain… nothing relevant to my current life.
I heard a voice say, “How do you want to approach this? How do you want to be with this interaction?”
I responded, “With forgiveness. With an open heart. I want to be as centered and rooted to my higher self as possible when/if I see them. I don’t like feeling this way and this is clearly not a part of me I need to carry anymore. I haven’t felt this horrible feeling since I was a kid. I want to let this go. This is not part of my future.”
And I cried and cried for about 10 minutes. I felt a great release from this. All this pain that I didn’t know I was carrying around with me all the time (unknowingly) was dissipating from my body on all levels. I kept saying, “I forgive you. I forgive you.” And I realized that not only was I talking to the energy of these people and the people that allowed this to happen (parents), but to myself.
And it felt so good afterward.
I’m not sure if there is more of this clearing to come as I approach the potential meeting. I might have more to release. Or I might not.
But I do feel better and less stressed about possibly meeting up with them.
And my point in writing this is to say that there is a lot of stuff from our past that is hooked in to our energetic bodies, even if it happened as a baby (as with Harry Potter). Sometimes we don’t realize that it is there, but when we do and we notice ourselves get emotionally triggered from something that has nothing to do with the present state of our lives, it is usually due to something that happened years ago.
At these times, it’s best to look at this piece of your history with as much compassion as possible – compassion and forgiveness for both yourself and for all elements from that time and place. That will clear the energy most efficiently and will with the greatest good to all parties.
Easier said than done, right?
But if there’s anyone who has the spiritual capacity to do it, it is the indigo adults of this world.
And it’s important because if we can do this on a micro level… within ourselves and our own lives… maybe we can do this on a macro level… between nations and religions. Which I feel is in line with my mission as an indigo adult.
~ Peace ~
PS: Having the courage to choose compassion and forgiveness is a choice… an empowering choice, because it takes the person doing the forgiving out of the victim roll. Harry didn’t HAVE TO go down to the woods to meet Voldemort, but by choosing to do so, he stopped playing the roll of the victim that had no choice than to get zapped by Voldemort as a baby, to the adult who chooses to not only confront his attacker, but to be centered enough in his dedication to the greater good (his friends and loved ones) to be bigger than his own wounds (his scar).